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Alichannie

Whenever I feel like it.

(idk what to name this)

I honestly hate feeling insecure. I hate the whole concept of insecurity. Can’t we all just stop comparing ourselves to others? Can’t we just block out that irritating little voice inside our heads that is constantly reminding us that we’re not good enough? Can’t we stop feeling bad because someone else seems to be doing a better job at the same thing? We are all different and we are all unique. There is absolutely no sound reason for us to compete (blatantly and subtly alike). Not to mention, suffering from the self-inflicted negative consequences is just pointless and damaging.

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The Inevitable Cycle

A certain tragic cycle in life is the cycle of feelings. A likes B but B likes C while C likes someone else, etc. B doesn’t want to hurt A so B pretends he/she doesn’t have a clue and continues to pursue C while C does the same that B does to A in order to avoid futher drama (while C has the same issue with D, and D with E). This cycle is immensely frustrating to both the stakeholders and the audience, yet is what makes a story intriguing to tell.

The post-DSE life series: #11 (Sai Wan)

Realization

Your life doesn’t revolve around others’ feelings. Your actions should not be directed based on what others would think. If you make every decision according to your prediction of others’ reactions (while worrying about all the possible consequences at the same time), not only would it be a complete waste of time, but also damaging to your wellbeing. #peaceout

May Favourites (Songs)

  1. Kat Dahlia – Crazy
  2. Elle King – Wild Love
  3. Luis Fonsi, Daddy Yankee – Despacito (remix ft. Justin Bieber)
  4. Lorde – Buzzcut Season
  5. Selena Gomez – Bad Liar

Inspiration

I can never create without feeling something intense. The fact that I have had a writer’s block for a whole month up till now, proves that I am experiencing some overwhelming emotion. I can’t tell what it is, it makes me sad. But on the bright side, I am more motivated to write and to open up.

Issues

When you get in touch with your innermost feelings, it’s difficult to catch the flamboyant, energetic fish such as happiness. Ironically, the unwanted emotions – sadness, nostalgia, come skimming near the surface, just begging to be taken out of the water. It’s so easy to succumb to negativity, which often leads to unreasonable anger at a third party, or to episodes of self-pity. But before you feel bad about your “issues”, take a step back and think about the big picture. Picture others who have experienced greater tragedy, others who are in greater misfortune. Acknowledge that no matter how bleak the situation you are in is, there must be someone out there fighting a bigger war than yours.

Contemplation

Several things in life are bothering me at the moment. I don’t know if I should tell the story, but the pre-existing problem is: I don’t know how to put it into words.

What I am feeling is a jumble of human emotions – pieces of agitation, fear, melancholy, passion, all scrambled together like the ingredients of an omelette.

Throughout this month, I have done things I regret. I have hurt some who are close to me, I have allowed my heart to wander where it should not, I have given in to selfishness and vanity. Yet, I have also performed deeds I am proud of.

All that rambling goes back to my root question: what is the purpose of living? We breathe, we sleep, we eat, we do human things. We make mistakes, we apologize, and then we compensate; we are sinned against, we accept apologies, and then we forgive; ultimately, the cycle repeats itself. Isn’t it all just a waste of time? Even the good things in life: being compassionate, having loyal friends, making breakthroughs… all seem to be so impermanent and mortal. They will be gone once we die. So what exactly is the point of striving so hard to achieve something in a life that is not eternal? What is the meaning of falling in love when nothing truly lasts? What is the rationale behind hoping for a better future when the future will become the past perpetually?

The post-DSE life series: #9 (Harbour City and 機場維修區)

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